Akatsuki Fan Mail
by Zaiachi
Summary: An interactive Akatsuki crack fic! Updated to chapter 3! New added feature as stated by WebAdmin Tobi! And watch out for a surprise announcement! x3
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **Oh hey, Zai-chan here. Today I bring you something that the Akatsuki asked –cough-forced-cough- me to do. So I guess I have no choice but to oblige since it'll be a Tsukiyomi all the way if I refused. I know, I know, it doesn't sound so bad, but to be threatened with 72 hours of Gai…well you know, that can be pretty ugly and basically with that kind of arrangement they can get me to do anything. So here is a little Omake for you guys from the Akatsuki.

**Disclaimer: **Well basically they said I don't own them, which is true. They also said, it's the other way around…which I think is not true as well.

Itachi: 72 hours of Gai…

Zai: What I meant to say was, I don't own any of the Naruto characters more over the Akatsuki…somehow they seem to be the one who owns me…^^;; -has a hard life-

**Prologue: New Base! The Internet! And Fan Letters!**

It was a beautiful rainy day as always in the Akatsuki's hideout. And as usual, everyone was keeping their share of work so that the place wouldn't get drenched from all the rain water, so one day the whole organization, without Kakuzu's consent, used up some of the funds in order to revamp their HQ. Kakuzu who was practically fuming over the loss of his beloved money couldn't help but just grunt since it was used for something good.

The lair was now looking much more like a house type kind of complex building, in short, the works. It was a 3 story building now with ten rooms. These rooms were fully furnished with whatever furniture they liked. To start off, lets get a view of Deidara's room.

Deidara's room was pretty the room of an average S-class criminal. There was the king sized canopy bed that he always wanted. The floor was carpeted in pure velvet, and his pillows were extremely soft as well as the mattress. His room had padded walls, soundproofed so in case that he was testing out his "art" no one would hear it. There was also at least five sprinklers in the room just in case everything gets caught in fire. There was just a small window for him to look out of and probably send one of his spider bombs to the next room…Tobi's.

Tobi's room was extravagant. It didn't show his usually childish and goofy side, but something more, sophisticated and elegant. A queen sized bed with very smooth sheets, so smooth that it was soft to the touch. Every drapery was made of silk and to top it off, his room was very much automatic. With just a clap of the hand or a snap of the fingers, lights, music, and television goes on or off. Of course, there were some gaming consoles just in case some people get interested to see him in his room. After all he had to keep his, "Tobi is a good boy!" Image.

Sasori's room looked very spacious. That was because of his puppets. There were minimal number of beds in his room just enough to fit his precious and most favorite puppets. Hiroku didn't have a bed though as well as the third Kazekage. They had glass cases instead to insure that they don't get dirtied and that no one touches them. Glass cases and lasers. If anyone dared touch those two, the alarm would set off and that person would be in for a very nasty surprise.

Itachi's room was very much like a replica of his old room back when he was in Konoha. There was just this simple bed, although a lot of pillows. The floor was made with varnished wood, no carpet as he didn't like that luxury. There were was a table and a dresser much like any room and a book shelf where he kept most of his books. There was an add on though. There was a small fridge in his room containing his adored sweets. Itachi to some extent likes them.

Kisame's room was well…very neat. Neater than the others' to be exact. With his Macho image as well as with his usual tendencies to severe other people's limbs you'd be surprised to see such a clean and well kept room. It wasn't as luxurious as Deidara's and it was very much pretty close to Itachi's. Aside from the loss of the fridge, it was practically the same build.

Hidan's room was. Should we even go there? Well why not. There were a heap of rosaries lying around. It looked more like a shrine than a room. The only factor that could have made it a room was that it had a bed and a coffee table. Usually the smell of blood was lingering about. It wasn't very pleasant, and opposite from Kisame, the immortal's room was a bloody mess…literally.

Kakuzu's room is styled in a minimalist way since he was the one who valued money more than anything. To be exact, his room looked like one of the rooms in some cheap hotel. 'Nuff said.

Zetsu's room was very refreshing. There were some plants that "guarded" the door and the view from his window was the forest area. But then again, his room was as simple as Itachi's. Than again…he spends his time more at the green house rather than his room.

Konan and Pein's room are separate of course but no one knows how both looked like. Somehow there was just some bad vibes and chakra coming into their room. And Pein always showed up whenever there was someone attempting to go into Konan's room uninvited. Those two were just secretive like that.

There was an eleventh room at the ground floor. The basement, more appropriately called the dungeon. You all know what that's good for right? So no need to elaborate.

All rooms are air conditioned to Kakuzu's dismay thus almost half of the savings depleted in just one go.

The kitchen is their favorite hang out, almost making it like a lounge of some sort. Akatsuki, the S-class criminal organization loved their food.

And of course, to such a wonderful new base came the technology that was very much talked about. You think Akatsuki is gonna be left behind? Not a chance.

"Internet…un?"

A clueless blonde asked as he saw the raven haired Uchiha by some weird looking contraption which had a monitor and a keyboard.

"Its called a computer Deidara."

Itachi spoke in his passive tone as he clicked on the mouse, obviously browsing the net.

"I know what its called! I'm not stupid! Un!"

Deidara shouted in Itachi's ear literally making the Akatsuki Uchiha flinch by a degree and instantly making his Sharingan activated.

"So the P.C finally came. Who assembled it? Better be no service charge."

The low voice of the Akatsuki treasurer was heard as he peered over the Uchiha's shoulder, looking at what he was doing. Itachi merely pointed to the kitchen where a tall blue guy was standing and by the looks of it cooking even.

"Fuck yeah, I smell some fucking cookies!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes as he heard the most annoying sound of cuss and curses. Hidan had just waltzed after him.

"And your not getting any for making a hole in my wall."

Kisame grunted angrily, he had to be the one to fix it. He happens to be the one who fixes everything as well, and with his expertise even he assembled the computer that Itachi was using.

"Shut up bitch! I'm gonna get cookies or I'll offer that fuckwad ass of yours to Jashin."

"I'll rip you apart."

"Shut up Hidan. Kisame just give him some damn cookies or else he wont shut up."

"I knew it Kakuzu I knew you liked me."

"Like I said, shut up."

"Aww come on, you don't have to be shy around me."

"I'll pay you to let me rip Hidan apart."

"Deal."

"Fucking dick! Whose side are you on bitch!"

"The one with money."

Their bickering had stopped upon the entrance of another figure, one that gave off such devious chakra. Waving Hidan and Kakuzu to the side and getting Kisame to go back to his backing, the new comer gently pushed Itachi and Deidara to the side while grabbing a chair and started typing on the Address box. The others who are currently present looked at the monitor as well and saw a website.

"And what the hell is this?"

Hidan asked as he looked over at the layout which resembled the pattern on their cloaks. There were also Chibi faces of them that were lined into two with five members each.

"It's an Akatsuki website. Tobi made it in one of that Internet Café in some village a few days ago."

Pein uttered as he took hold of the mouse and clicked on the word "Fan Letters." The whole, along with Kisame who had just finished baking looked at the page as it loaded and when it did, they were quite surprised to see their chibi faces again along with some numbers on the left side.

"And what does those numbers mean, un?"

Deidara asked as he looked at the leader.

"Number of fan mail you have."

He explained briefly.

"Let's open one."

Itachi suggested and took the mouse from the Akatsuki leader. With everybody agreeing, he clicked on the Chibi Kisame.

"Hey why mine."

He asked incredulously.

"Don't complain."

Itachi answered.

"Fish face has some fans? Freaking weird. Must be some delirious fuck on weed."

Hidan spoke which just earned him a glare making him grunt some profanities.

"Lets see, its from, Pawingcat28."

_**Dear Kisame, **_

_**Do you really have to be blue? And does that skin tone even attract the girls?**_

_**-Pawingcat28**_

And with that all eyes were on him.

"Its not like its my fault I'm blue…"

"Well go ahead and answer it.(un)"

They all suggested. With a nod, Kisame took control of the Keyboard and began typing.

**Dear Pawingcat28,**

**Yes I really have to be blue since I was born blue. And it doesn't concern you if it does unless you're a girl. Plus, I'm pretty in blue.**

**-Kisame**

Clicking on the send button, he finally sent his reply to his very first fan mail.

"Pretty in blue, un? I thought you were disheartened by being blue, un."

Deidara asked, a bit bewildered.

"…"

After that they continued on reading their fan mails, practically fighting over whose gonna be reading and answering next. But before they could open the next mail, the door suddenly banged open and…

**Tobi: Please send in your questions and letters for the whole Akatsuki Organization and we'll do our best answering them for you! And by Akatsuki we also mean Sasuke and his little group of friends! So don't be shy! Just send in your questions in forms of review! Plus…-unclasps his mask and shows his real face, showing a difference from his usual exuberant self- I'll also answer your questions. –smirks before putting his mask back on- Akatsuki needs some love! Show us how much you love us! And remember…TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! XDDD**

**---**

**A/N: **And there you have it, just like what Tobi said, the whole Akatsuki is expecting some love. And basically they want to answer your questions and your letters. So don't be shy. ^^


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **From now on, the Akatsuki will be taking over this fic…since they are somehow fond of the internet and their new Tobi-made website.

**WebAdmin Note(Tobi): Thank you for the fan mail you sent us. Keep them coming people. We, the Akatsuki love you for your support to our cause. With every fan mail you send, you help us realize our goal. World Domination! XD And yes, Tobi is a good boy! **

**Disclaimer(Akatsuki): We are currently not owned by anyone other than Kishimoto-dono(un). **

**Chapter 1: Fears and bedrooms! **

"Oi, Tobi! What they hell's the big idea barging in like that and screaming un?"

Deidara asked, walking over to the hyperactive "boy" with the orange mask. When in the desired proximity, both knuckles would be placed on the side of Tobi's head, giving a hard pressed noogie. 

"**OW! OW! STOP IT SEMPAI, I MADE THE WEBSITE!"**

He pleaded. All eyes were now on Deidara, suggestive death glances being given signaling him to stop. They didn't want to suddenly lose their fan mails and websites due to a certain artist hurting the web maker.

"Spoiled brat, un."

He mumbled under his breath.

"So, so, so, how's the website coming along? How many hits do we have? How many fan mails have you read?"

The masked akatsuki asked excitedly, practically squishing Pein as he leaned in at the monitor to get a hefty look.

"We've read a few, but we were about to read this one when you suddenly barged in."

Pein retorted.

"Are you saying its my fault you stopped reading?"

Tobi asked once again in his usual voice although his eyes looked threateningly at Pein, the others were just oblivious to this.

"No."

"I thought so."

Tobi beamed excitedly!

"So now lets get on with the reading!"

Click. Tobi grabbed the mouse and clicked on the little red cloud just below the two column of chibi akatsuki faces.

"Why click on that, un?"

Deidara asked looking at Tobi with wonder.

"Well sempai, this is fan mail for the whole Akatsuki."

He explained.

"Oh…"

Everyone else said in unison.

Loading…loading…-chime chime- Loaded!

"Aint it cute with the voice over?"

Tobi mused as he scrolled to the first mail.

_**Dear Akatsuki, **_

_**What are some of the members fears?**_

_**-KiraUzamaki**_

"Well, what are your fears?"

Pein asked, looking at them all ready to type out what they'll be saying, while they in turn looked back at him incredulously.

"Oi, leader-san, you're a part of Akatsuki as well, un."

"That's right you godless bitch."

"Mine will come last."

And with his statement the other members grew curious.

"Lets start with sempai!"

Tobi suggested which made everyone but Deidara agree.

"Its not fair, un."

"Just tell us and get it over with. That simple."

Itachi chimed in as he looked at the explosive blonde. The others merely nodded in agreement.

"**My greatest fear is to run out of sand un! Without sand, I'll be…I'll be…I'll be artless un!" (Deidara)**

"Boring…"

Tobi said. Pein typed it out.

"Next…Kisame."

Itachi spoke.

"**Me? Well one of my fear is having to go to Hidan's room." (Kisame)**

He spoke in his usually calm tone.

"What the—got a problem with my freaking room you ass hole?!"

"Do you see what you do in there? I don't like the thought of going inside you death infested room."

Itachi glanced a Kisame slightly, thinking about something, and then he joined in the conversation.

"But don't you like killing people, even shredding them limb from limb?"

"Well that is true Itachi-san, but I also have my limitations when I'm not on the job."

Kisame explained earning him a subtle nod. Once again Pein typed while Tobi gestured to Hidan.

"I don't have any fucking fears. I'm not a pussy like you guys."

For a moment, there was another silence.

…

…

…

…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And the silence was broken due to a loud ear piercing shrill.

"**My rosary! My fucking rosary! You fucking destroyed my rosary! Where the fuck is the fucking pendant!" (Hidan)**

The small beads rolled around the floor and the Jashinist pendant rolled towards the kitchen. Curses of course was blooming. The culprit, hardened thread which was used like a knife snapping the strings of the rosary causing it to break. Once again Pein typed away. Tobi glanced at Kakuzu.

"**Well my fear is—"**

"**Losing money, just type it there leader-san." (Kakuzu)**

"Got it Tobi."

That was unfair on Kakuzu's part. Things were always decided for him even if he hasn't really confirmed or agreed to it. But then again, they were right.

"**No no I'm sure Kakuzu-san's greatest fear is spending his life time with Hidan, un." (Kakuzu again)**

Deidara spoke.

"Agreed."

Kakuzu merely agreed to the thought. And for one, that was a very frightening thought. His whole life spent with Hidan and his constant whining about Jashin. That has to be worse than not having any money.

"Like I'd want to spend the rest of my life with that heathen!"

From the kitchen, the immortal yelled.

Everyone looked at Itachi then.

"So what does pretty boy fear, un?"

Deidara asked in a slightly teasing manner.

"**Orochimaru corrupting my little brother into some…ahem, "aspects." Like using him for a gay bar or something." (Itachi)**

Another pause of silence.

"Where the heck did you get that idea?"

Pein asked glancing over to the crimson akatsuki.

"Deviantart."

Itachi said plainly.

"Deviantart, un?"

"Yeah, it's a website where people post art and stuff like that.."

Kisame explained while pulling out some Doujinshi and sketch print outs. Having seen this, Kakuzu and Deidara took a look at it and instantly looked away.

"That's disturbing, I'll never do that with Hidan! Never, not even if I was paid a million Ryou!"

Kakuzu declaimed, shredding the print outs to bits.

"What's it with this cheesy paring, un? I don't "Get it on" with Sasori danna!"

The akatsuki bomber exclaimed defensively. A couple of suspicious "oh's" and "Ah's" soon filled the air.

"Shouldn't it be Tobi's turn, un?"

Deidara asked, trying to change the subject. Kakuzu nodded in agreement, also wanting to change the subject.

"**Tobi's fear is being a bad boy!" (Tobi)**

-cricket, cricket. Silence.- And then everyone looks at Pein who had just finished typing Tobi's fear.

"So what is leader-san afraid off?"

Kisame asked, while taking a cookie and started nibbling on it. Before the leader could start typing away though, the door suddenly banged open and five other Pein's went inside, scrambling in like a bunch of scared dogs. And then a sixth figure entered, looking very much upset. The door then shut to a close, very very loudly.

"The five of you ruined the flowers I was growing in the garden!"

A more or less irritated look graced the face of the blue haired one. The other bodies of Pein just stood there, unable to speak, all were bruised as if receiving some kind of beating.

Click. Click. Click.

"**Konan." (Pein)**

**-Akatsuki**

Pein suddenly uttered before typing and then clicking on the send button. Aside from Konan and the other five, the formerly present members of Akatsuki looked at their leader in a sense of disbelief. Their leader was afraid of his own partner.

"Alright, next fan mail."

Pein spoke up, catching Konan's attention as well.

**Dear Akatsuki, **

_**I love you Akatsuki members!  
Had to get that out of my system, anyways, I love Dei-chan's room!**_

_**-Kisafan**_

"**Aww, that's nice. We're actually loved. We love you too."**

**-Akatsuki**

Konan joined in, grabbing onto a chair and pulling it closer to Pein in order for her to see what's going on as well. Evidently, her words had just been typed, and was sent to the one who had sent them the mail.

"But wait, how did they the sender see Deidara's room?"

Konan asked looking at the others. Tobi raised his hands to answer.

"Oh, oh that's simple! Every room has a hidden camera which allows the fans to see. But I guess the Camera is busted in Tobi, Leader-san and Konan-san's room since all that shows on the monitors and pictures are blank."

Tobi once again explained. He then took the mouse and clicked on "Misc.". And there, Akatsuki room activities can be seen. Three rooms were blacked out. Pein's, Konan's, and surprisingly Tobi's. The others were like a movie, aside from the fact that Zetsu's room was empty as well as the Akatsuki members who were there with them. The onlu occupied room at the moment was Sasori where he was cutely sleeping.

"You think Sasori-dana can be blackmailed by this un?"

Deidara had that devious look on his face as he began to capture the image on the screen. Accidentally though he clicked onto the "past" section of that current page. It showed some videos that were already labled such as:

**Kisame in: Sleeping in Boxers.** This was a video showing him sleep only in his boxer shorts with some heart shaped patterns.

**Itachi in: Bath Time**. This was a video of Itachi while he took his bath and what comes after that.

**Hidan in: Strange Ritual:** Somehow content was rated due to some sensitive things. Not his usual rituals which included his pike. It did however include something else which was long too.

The three flinched simultaneously.

"What the fuck is that!"

The three also spoke in Hidan's native language, the cussings.

"That's all for the hits!"

Tobi beamed again, and just to stop the fight, the page was then brought back to the fan mail page for some more fan mail.

**Ex-A/N: **Well that's for chapter 1. Hope you enjoyed! Send in more mail to make the Akatsuki happy. X3


	3. Chapter 3

**WebAdmin Tobi's Note: Thank you for the fan mail again! The Akatsuki was very happy reading and receiving them. Some were a bit hesitant to answer the questions though due to shyness, but for their loving fans, they just couldn't resist answering anyway! xD **

**Anyway, a new feature will be added to the Akatsuki Website! That's right, please send in your votes on who you think is the most popular Akatsuki, meaning…vote the one you like the best. Because we want to see which Akatsuki is most popular! We'll be posting the results when we gathered enough fan mail and votes! X3 Tobi loves you all!**

**Disclaimer: We arent owned by anyone other than Kishimoto-dono!(Kishimoto-dana, un!) And we have enough power to take over this fanfic too!(Un!)**

**Chapter 2: Reasons! Pass Times and Other Shameless Secrets! P.S: Prisoner at the Dungeon! Part 1!**

"We should really stop reading fan mails…"

The statement was ended with a yawn, as the sleepy, blue skinned ex Kiri nin groggily strode towards the kitchen along with the bunch of other sleepy Akatsuki. Seemingly they given up their beauty sleeps just in order for them to read the mail that came from their adoring fans. Who knew so many people loved them. And with their Organization being the bad guys, they just couldn't help but have been be giddy all night long. They practically slept at around 4:30 am in the morning and woke up at around 8:00 am. And now they were all sitting along the table, waiting for some breakfast to be served. Everyone was looking at Kisame at that moment.

"What? I don't want to cook I already did yesterday…and I baked too! Plus I had to fix my wall before going to sleep! I don't want to move!"

He complained, groggily lowering his head on the table, grunting a bit due to the lack of sleep. The poor poor Kiri nin. Sleeping at around 5:30 am because of a certain immortal's careless swinging of the scythe which made the room's wall suffer, and Kisame as well.

"You all look like a bunch or thrashed rag dolls."

There was one Akatsuki who was late in coming down to the table. It wasn't like him to be late but somehow, he had dozed off too much since yesterday. Yes, it was Sasori indeed.

"Sasori-dana, you should have joined us yesterday, un."

Deidara chimed sleepily as the red head took his seat beside the blonde artist.

"And what unproductive things were you doing yesterday?"

"We were reading fan mail, un."

"Fan mail?"

"Yes, un. Tobi finally did something right and connected us to all our fans who love us un. We can talk to them now, un."

"Interesting."

The red head concluded, actually curious about it although his face didn't show too much excitement in them. There was a momentary pause as the sound of grumbling stomachs could be heard. Glances were given to each other until the silence was broken due to the soft creaking of the chair. Eyes were then directed to an equally sleepy looking Uchiha who had stood up to go to the cup board. Opening the majestic food container, he pulled out a box of cereals before going over to the fridge to get a carton of milk. Once he had gathered everything, he placed it on the table.

"What the fuck is that supposed to be?"

Hidan spoke furiously as he looked at the box of cereal and carton of milk.

"Breakfast."

Everyone looked at him in disbelief. They were having cereals for breakfast? There's just no nutrition in that and it wasn't enough to feed such growling akatsuki tummies.

"Tobi wants bacon and eggs!"

"_**I'll settle for human flesh."**_

"That's not a proper breakfast."

Itachi sighed at the comments given. He was just as sleepy as anyone and most likely no one wanted to cook either. It was written all over their faces.

"Its either this or I cook."

He said simply.

"O—kay! Cereal sounds good!"

"Yes, less energy consumption too, this means lower bills."

"Cereal and milk un, way to start the day."

It was then a cereal battle! Of course, while the others where busy complaining over the chosen breakfast, Itachi was already half way through eating, pausing only for some explanations and suggestions. No one wanted Itachi to cook in the mornings. With his vision slowly deteriorating, they learned their lessons a few days ago when they asked the Uchiha to make sundae for breakfast. It would usually turn out sweet right? Well Itachi introduces the salty sundae. Common mistaken identity of the fine salt next to the sugar. Easy mistake to make for one with Itachi's eyes.

An hour or so…

"I still want bacon and eggs…"

Tobi whined. Although the box of cereal had been defeated and obliterated, they were still a bit hungry. But they just decided that it was a mind over matter thing thus tried ignoring the fact that cereal really wasn't an enough breakfast to keep the Akatsuki alive.

Click. Click. Click. Loading, loading. –chime, chime- Loaded!

There it was again, the voice over from yesterday. Ears instantly perked up as they heard the sound and as if a flock of mindless sheep, their feet carried them in front of the computer screen where Konan and Pein had already been tending to a few more fan mails. By the computer table was a box of Pizza made just for two and was now empty. The others just thought that it wasn't fair that the two hid actual food from their members. By the couch, five Pein bodies slept quietly and comfortably as if they didn't care about anything else.

"Leader-sama and Konan-san are already at it."

Kakuzu noted as he peered over their shoulders, reading the mail they were reading.

_**Dear Akatsuki,  
I luv you guys(and Konan). Sasori, if you can't feel anything, then how do you do the other four of your five sensory systems. Hidan, would you still be immortal if you converted. Deidara, do your hand mouthes have esophaguses. Pein, why did you get the piercings. Last but not least, Tobi, why ARE you a good boy. Sidenote for Sasori, if I ever meet you, prepare to get glomped!(you are my favorite member.)**_

_**-Wolfdmon**_

"Tsk always them getting mail…"

Kakuzu grunted, feeling unloved. It seemed like he didn't get much mail which made him wonder what he ever did wrong.

"Good timing boys, now answer their mails. Pein-sama will type."

Konan jeered as he looked at Sasori first.

The puppet master also peered over the monitor looking at the question. The others did so as well, and blinked afterwards.

"This Wolfdmon person has a good point. How do you do it dana, un?"

"**Simple. Its true I am not able to feel anything, but some of my other sensory system works. Just like smelling. Nerves and other organs are still compressed into my life support, my heart if you will thus still controlling some of my sensory systems. Plus I still have my brain which still send signals for things to be identified. I can taste food, and I can also digest it, to some point, but I really just cant feel." (Sasori)**

"Where does the digested food come out?"

"Tobi, you don't want to know, and its complicated to explain…"

If Sasori could flush, he'd have been beat read just for Tobi's stupid inquisition.

"Alright, next one please. We have lots of mail and there's only one Pein typing your answers since the other five are still asleep."

Konan chimed in whilst glancing at the others.

"I'm the leader here, why am I the one who types…Hidan, its your turn."

Pein asked more to himself than the others, pretty much thinking its unfair for him to be the one who always handles the keyboard and its keys.

"**Fuck no. Being Jashin's follower is already a fucking package. If you suddenly decide to be a fucking yellow bellied pussy then you break the contract. And when you break the contract, you will die if you convert. And if you convert that means you arent a freaking immortal no more. And if you're not freaking immortal then—" (Hidan)**

"Alright, we get it. Next."

The blue haired woman then gestured to Deidara. 

"What the hell was that I wasn't even fucking finished with my statement."

Hidan protested and whined as always.

"**Hmn…I'm not sure, un. Let me check, un."**

With that Deidara took a piece of cookie that Kisame was hiding somewhere and fed it to one of his hand mouth. First thing it did was give it a slight lick before taking it in fully. Then there was the chew chewing and nomnoms before he felt it being swallowed.

"**Oh yum, oatmeal raisin, un. And yeah they seem to have an esophagus too, un." (Deidara)**

It was Pein's turn next.

**::I got the piercing because it looked cool plus it helps me channel and sense chakra. You can say it makes me chakra sensitive.:: - Pein**

"Tobi you're up."

"Oh, oh, Tobi gets another fan mail! Let's see…whay is Tobi a good boy?"

Tobi had to think of this for a while. Not really sure on what to say, since his true nature wasn't exactly a good boy. He was just a manipulative bastard when he wanted to be one.

"**Well, Tobi is a good boy because…Tobi is…Tobi is…afraid to be reprimanded by leader-tan. Oh and, and, being a good boy will make me more popular that Sasuke and Itachi." (Tobi)**

**-Akatsuki**

Another pause of silence. True the boy was cute being all good and all, but some of them just know better. Behind every good boy is a dark secret.

"Lets just go to the next one."

Itachi said as he nibbled on some cookies which Kisame baked yesterday, and had graciously offered him. And then, taking control of the mouse, Itachi clicked on the next.

_**Dear Akatsuki,  
What is some your favorite pass times?**_

_**-KiraUzamaki**_

"Oh hey look, its the Kira person again."

Kisame pointed out.

"So it is. We should give these frequenters a nice surprise, don't you think?"

Itachi spoke, looking at Tobi while pointing at the monitor.

"I'll come up with something, surely! Now answer, answer!"

Oh the masked one's exuberance was always present as he spoke.

"I'll start."

Konan spoke boldly while crossing her arms and thinking of what to say.

"**Well even up to now I still like to manually do origami, and then there's gardening and then reprimand some of my partner's extra bodies." (Konan)**

Once she had stated her past times, the five sleeping on the couch flinched in unison. By now, dreams of being beaten up filled their heads, Konan was indeed a force to be reckoned with.

**::I like to watch people during my past time. No, not in a stalker kind of way, but just normal watching. Conquer boredom with boredom. Then I'd like to assume they're doing something strange.:: - Pein**

And Pein typed away typing his own answers as well. This time he was just happy not voicing his thoughts out, keeping him from the embarrassment, like admitting that he was frightened of Konan to some extent. Never again…Soon enough, the leader looked at Itachi, signaling that he was next.

"**Eating Dangos or anything sweet. Plus I also enjoy playing with my adorable little brother, and playing with his mind. I also do modeling jobs for shampoo and clothes line. Underwear…sure if its made good, I'll model them for you on my free time." (Itachi)**

"Man, pretty boy gets all the gigs, un."

"Well Deidara-chan, you can always do the same in a little pissy girly clothes."

"Heh, you think I don't know your little secret, un? I know you do pigtails on your own hair, un! And I have the photo to freaking prove it un!"

Hidan sort of flinched at that statement.

"That's not fucking true you freaking blondy liar!"

"Suddenly lost that tongue for more spicy insults, un?"

"Shut up! I'm trying to think here!"

Kisame intervened, feeling a bit irritated due to the improper breakfast and the lack of freaking sleep.

"**Well aside from wanting to slice off an arm or two…I guess I'm pretty peaceful when I have free time. I do some reading and training…its typical I know. But it's a nice way to relax. I also have modeling jobs." (Kisame)**

And that, that last statement left the organization in a state of jaw dropping. Aside from Itachi of course who works with Kisame most of the time, plus Itachi wont be dead caught with his mouth agape. That was so not Uchiha. Other than that, Itachi knew he had an image to keep, the badass kind.

"No way, fishboy and modeling jobs?"

Hidan asked incredulously, so shocked he left his cuss behind.

"Ah yeah…said the macho image did good for swimming trunks and the likes."

"As usual associated with water, un."

"Alright, next?"

Tobi intervened.

"**On my pastime I like to count money of course, and then I also bake things. It makes for good profit. Kisame helps me with the baking. He seems to have a hand in the kitchen." (Kakuzu)**

"Those fucking niblies must cost a fucking fortune. Bastards like Kakuzu usually over price."

Hidan mumbled to himself, but with Kakuzu's strained hearing, he heard everything perfectly.

"You better not sink your teeth into my cookies in the future Hidan."

"Kakuzu, that sounded very wrong."

Itachi and Sasori spoke in unison. Being two of the more analytic members of the organization, their minds seemed to be on work for most of the times, noticing mistakes like that, specially like THAT.

"**Anyway, you guys are such sick fucks! Eh, for my past time, I guess all I do is pray and kill, make offerings to Jashin, eat cookies…what else…" (Hidan)**

"Nag…"

"Whine…"

"Never shut up…"

"Complain…"

The others continued for him which was of course effectively typed by Pein. _My fingers are getting numb…_He thought to himself, but for the sake of their goal, he must continue typing away!

"I do not!"

Hidan shouted while being pulled back by a more or less composed Itachi and Sasori.

"**Tobi's past time is being cute! Being a good boy, and trying to take over the world! And and, plot on things, play my PSP and then bother Deidara-sempai to no end! I know he likes me a lot that's why I bug him every now and then. And he enjoys it!" (Tobi) **

"I do not, un!"

"Oh you don't have to hide it sempai~ you remember that one time we slept together? I knew you had fun!"

"You and your sick ideas un!"

"Deidara, just go next. I hate making people wait."

Sasori grunted, his voice in that usual tone of his out side Hiruko's body.

"**Well I like to make art. Need I say more?" (Deidara)**

"**I also like to make art during my pastime. Fixing my puppets even, and unlike Deidara's art, mine is much better. Eternal, ever lasting." (Sasori)**

"You're wrong Sasori-dana. Art is art only when it is appreciated in the mind. Something that grows old in time becomes obsolete. But if it is destroyed right after it is made then that's when the beauty is truly seen as art."

"Nonsense."

In a matter of time, Kisame and Kakuzu, pushed the two back, trying to calm them down, but when it comes to these arguments, it was so hard to stop them.

"Hey where is Zetsu, he's supposed to be next."

Konan noticed. It was quite unlike him to be missing, but Pein already had the perfect pastime for Zetsu.

**::Zetsu likes to eat and contradict himself. So you better watch out if there is something dead around your area, he might be there, just ravishing everything.:: - Pein for Zetsu**

**-Akatsuki**

And just as the next mail was sent, they heard a loud scream from below.

"Tobi, what was that?"

Sasori asked, looking impatient, wanting to know what was making all that annoying noise.

"Oh that, Tobi just gave the strange kunoichi a cell to stay in for a while."

"Then get her out of there, and instead make her work. She's very noisy, I hate noise!"

The red head found himself screaming, and found out how fast Tobi already ran in order to release the prisoner from the dungeon.

**Ex-A/N**: We were only able to read two fan mails today. But more tomorrow specifically the other five. (had too many assignments. Will answer other questions tomorrow) So please send in your fan mail again! If you do you might get a special surprise from the organization itself! X3


End file.
